Finding Gratitude Through the Pain
A Parent’s Guide to a Gentle Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is a season that reminds us to slow down, reflect, and give thanks. But for those of us living with chronic pain while also tending to little ones, this time of year can feel less like a holiday and more like a test of endurance.
Between meal prep, parenting, and trying to appear “okay” around the dinner table, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Yet, even within the chaos and discomfort, there are ways to find peace — and even joy — in the little moments that matter most.
1. Redefine What “Enough” Looks Like
You don’t need to do it all to make Thanksgiving meaningful.
If cooking a full meal feels impossible, order in or simplify the menu. Let someone else host this year, or create new traditions that work with your energy — not against it.
“Enough” might look like a small meal shared with family, laughter from the kids in the background, or simply making it through the day without pushing yourself past your limits. And that’s okay. That’s more than enough.
2. Allow Rest to Be Part of the Celebration
Resting isn’t quitting — it’s honouring your body. Take moments throughout the day to pause and breathe. Maybe it’s a few minutes with your feet up while the turkey cooks, or a quiet break in the bedroom while your little ones play.
You’re allowed to sit out from the cleanup or the post-dinner chaos. Your body is doing so much more than anyone can see, and it deserves care just as much as anyone else at the table.
Don’t forget how many “energy” spoons you have during the holiday. You will need them to be present, have gratitude, and of course eat pumpkin pie!
3. Let Gratitude Be Simple
Gratitude doesn’t have to be loud or elaborate. It can be quiet and deeply personal — like feeling thankful for a warm drink in your hands, the sound of your child’s laughter, or simply making it through another day.
When chronic pain dims your energy, gratitude can become a soft light guiding you back to what’s real and meaningful. Sometimes, it’s that gentle focus on what’s still good that keeps you grounded.
4. Model Self-Compassion for Your Kids
As parents, we often try to shield our children from seeing our pain. But letting them see you care for yourself — by resting, setting limits, and showing kindness to your body — teaches them something powerful: that strength isn’t about doing it all; it’s about knowing when to pause.
You’re showing them that love doesn’t always look like doing — sometimes it looks like being present, even if you’re sitting quietly with a heating pad.
5. Savor the Little Moments
The holidays can easily get swept up in expectations, but the magic often hides in the simplest things — the smell of food cooking, a hug from your child, or a shared laugh over something silly.
Even when pain lingers, those small, tender moments remind you that you’re still here, still loving, still showing up in your own way. And that is something to be deeply thankful for.
A Gentle Reminder
You don’t need to match the energy of the holiday to belong in it.
You are allowed to experience Thanksgiving in your own rhythm — slower, softer, and more mindful.
This season, let your gratitude include yourself — your resilience, your effort, and the quiet strength it takes to show up every day, even when your body makes it hard to do so.
That, too, is something to celebrate. 💛
Simplicity vs. lavish holiday. Your energy expenditure is in your hands.
